Do you ever get stuck in a loop, worrying about things that haven’t even happened?
Maybe it’s that big work presentation next week, a tricky conversation you keep putting off, or just that nagging feeling about what tomorrow might hold. If that sounds like you, you’re definitely not alone. Lots of us deal with how to stop worrying about the future. In fact, in England, around 1 in 6 adults report dealing with a common mental health issue like anxiety or depression each week 12.
Sometimes this worry gets a specific name: anticipatory anxiety. It’s basically that dread or nervousness you feel before something potentially stressful happens.
The good news? Just understanding it is a huge first step towards managing it and finding a bit more peace right now.
What Is Anticipatory Anxiety Exactly?
What is anticipatory anxiety? Think of it like regular anxiety’s forward-thinking twin. While general anxiety can feel like a vague cloud of worry hanging around, anticipation anxiety zooms in on specific future events, possibilities, or those endless ‘what ifs’.
It’s that knot in your stomach or tension in your shoulders you feel before the actual event. It’s quite common too; in the UK during 2022/23, high levels of anxiety were reported by an average of 37.1% of women and 29.9% of men 11.
And it’s not just in your head; it often shows up physically too. You might notice things like:
- Your heart racing
- Finding it hard to focus
- Muscle tension (hello, tight shoulders!)
- Trouble sleeping
- Feeling more irritable than usual
- That classic stomach-in-knots feeling 12
Getting your head around this can make the feeling less scary and take away some of its power. For some people, this worry pattern might connect to broader anxiety issues, and looking into options like ERP therapy could be helpful for certain types of anxiety.
Why Do We Worry So Much About What’s Next?
Thinking about the future is completely normal – planning is a useful life skill! But when does it cross the line into constant worry? A few things can add to it:
- Past Experiences: If you’ve had tough experiences before, your brain might be trying to ‘protect’ you by expecting similar problems, even if things are different now.
- Hating Uncertainty: Let’s face it, some of us just really struggle with not knowing what’s coming. The unknown can feel threatening, so our minds try to fill the gaps, often jumping to the worst conclusions. Research confirms this link, identifying ‘Intolerance of Uncertainty’ (IU) as a significant risk factor across various anxiety disorders 14.
- Learned Habit: Sometimes, worrying can almost feel productive, like you’re ‘doing something’. It can become a go-to habit, even if it doesn’t actually solve anything.
- Underlying Anxiety: Anticipatory anxiety can also be part of a bigger picture, like Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) 34.
The Fear of the Future Trap
A big part of anticipatory anxiety can be a general fear of the future. This isn’t always about one specific thing; it’s more like a constant background hum of dread about what could happen. It might feel like you’re walking on eggshells, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. This kind of anxiety about the future is exhausting and can really steal the joy from today. You might catch yourself thinking:
- “What if I lose my job?”
- “What if something bad happens to someone I care about?”
- “What if I mess up this decision?”
- “Honestly, I just feel scared for the future.”
Often, this fear comes from feeling out of control. The truth is, the future is uncertain, and trying to control every single possibility is impossible – and a recipe for more anxiety. Learning how to overcome fear of future worries means shifting your focus from controlling the uncontrollable to managing how you respond right here, right now.
How Worrying About the Future Affects Your Relationships
It’s easy to see anxiety as just your own internal struggle, but constant worry about what’s coming often impacts our connections with others, too. Maybe you find yourself snapping at loved ones more easily? Or perhaps you pull back socially because you’re so caught up in your head?
Sometimes people seek constant reassurance, which, understandably, can put a strain on relationships. Research suggests anxiety can indeed affect relationship quality, sometimes leading to patterns of dependence or avoidance 15.
Maybe the fear of future problems (like arguments or even breakups) stops you from really opening up or feeling close in the present. Spotting this relational side is key, because building stronger connections and talking openly (even about your worries) can actually be a fantastic buffer against anxiety.
Practical Steps to Manage Anticipatory Anxiety
Okay, so we get what it is and why it happens. Now for the really important bit: what can you actually do? Here are some down-to-earth strategies to help you handle anticipation anxiety and figure out how to stop worrying about the future:
Acknowledge and Accept Your Anxiety (with Self-Compassion)
Trying to push anxious thoughts away often just makes them shout louder. So, instead, try gently acknowledging them. Something like: “Okay, brain, I see you’re feeling anxious about that presentation.” Just naming it can dial down its intensity a bit. Think of it like noticing clouds drift by – you see them, but you don’t have to get swept up in the storm.
And alongside that acknowledgement, try bringing in some self-compassion. It’s so easy to get frustrated with yourself (‘Ugh, why can’t I just stop worrying?!’). But what if you treated yourself like you’d treat a good friend going through it?
Acknowledge it’s tough right now (‘This is stressful, and it’s okay that I feel worried’). This isn’t about giving in to the worry; it’s about cutting out that extra layer of stress that comes from beating yourself up for feeling anxious.
Trust us, self-compassion is a huge resilience booster, something often worked on in therapy, and research consistently links higher self-compassion with lower levels of anxiety and depression 16.
Challenge Your Anxious Thoughts (CBT Approach)
Anxious thoughts often aren’t the full picture – they tend to be distorted or blown out of proportion. Challenging them is a key part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a really effective way to tackle anxiety 56.
It’s not about pretending the worries aren’t there; it’s more like putting on your detective hat and examining the evidence. Ask yourself:
- ‘Okay, is this thought 100% true, without a doubt? What evidence actually backs it up? What evidence goes against it?’ Often, you’ll find worries are built on assumptions, not solid facts.
- ‘What’s the most likely thing to happen here, not just the absolute worst-case scenario my brain jumps to?’
- ‘Even if the worst did happen, how could I handle it?’ (Spoiler: you’re probably way more resilient than your anxiety gives you credit for!)
- ‘Is this worry actually helping me right now, or just making me feel rubbish?’
- ‘What’s a more balanced, realistic way to look at this whole situation?’ Remember, this isn’t about forcing yourself to be positive; it’s about seeing the bigger picture, including your own strengths and ability to cope, which anxiety tends to conveniently forget.
Working through these questions helps you see your worries and overwhelm a bit more clearly and objectively.
Ground Yourself with Mindfulness
- Deep Breathing: Take a slow breath in through your nose, letting your belly rise, and then breathe out slowly through your mouth. Just focus on the feeling of the breath moving in and out. That’s it.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Quickly name 5 things you can see right now, 4 things you can physically touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It sounds simple, but this simple exercise really grounds you in your immediate surroundings through your senses.
- Body Scan: Gently shift your attention through your body. Start with your toes and slowly move up, just noticing any sensations – warmth, coolness, tightness, tingling – without judging them or needing to change them.
- 3-Minute Breathing Space: This is a great quick reset. Try this:
- Step 1: Awareness (about 1 min): Just check in. What thoughts, feelings, and body sensations are here right now? No need to fix anything, just notice.
- Step 2: Gathering (about 1 min): Gently bring your focus to the physical feeling of your breath, maybe where it enters your nose, or how your belly moves.
- Step 3: Expanding (about 1 min): Widen your attention out from the breath to include your whole body. Notice your posture, your facial expression.
Manage Worry with Structure (Worry Time & Control Focus)
- Schedule “Worry Time”: Okay, this sounds a bit weird, but stick with us. Setting aside a specific, short time each day (say, 15 minutes) just to let yourself think about your worries can actually stop them from taking over your whole day. If a worry pops up outside that time, jot it down quickly and tell yourself, “Got it. I’ll deal with you during my worry time later.”
- Focus on What You Can Control: You can’t control everything about the future (nobody can!), but you can control what you do right now. Break down tasks that feel overwhelming into smaller, doable steps. Worried about that presentation? Focus on sorting out your notes today, rather than stressing about every single thing that might go wrong on the day. Ask yourself: “Is this specific worry something I can actually address right now?” If the answer’s no, gently guide your focus back to something you can influence.
Support Your Well-being (Exercise, Sleep, Social)
- Get Moving: Exercise is brilliant for easing anxiety. It helps burn off stress hormones and gives you a boost of feel-good endorphins 78. Even just a brisk walk outside can shift your mood. Find something you actually enjoy doing!
- Prioritise Sleep: Being sleep-deprived makes anxiety way worse 910. Try to stick to a reasonably consistent sleep schedule and create a wind-down routine before bed (maybe less screen time, more reading?).
- Limit Doomscrolling: Constant exposure to bad news or perfectly curated social media feeds can seriously fuel anxiety about the future. Notice how much you’re taking in and give yourself permission to take breaks. Feeling scared for the future because of world events is totally understandable, but soaking in it 24/7 rarely helps.
- Talk It Out: Share what’s on your mind with a friend, family member, or therapist you trust. Just voicing your fears can often make them feel less huge and give you a fresh perspective.
Summary Table: Key Strategies
| Strategy Category | Key Action | Why it Helps |
|---|---|---|
| Acceptance & Self-Compassion | Acknowledge anxiety kindly; Treat yourself gently | Reduces secondary stress; Builds resilience |
| Cognitive Restructuring (CBT) | Challenge distorted thoughts; Seek evidence | Provides objective perspective; Reduces bias |
| Mindfulness & Grounding | Focus on present (breath, senses); Body scan | Interrupts future-focus; Calms nervous system |
| Structured Worrying | Schedule worry time; Focus on controllable actions | Contains worry; Empowers through action |
| Lifestyle Support | Exercise; Prioritise sleep; Limit negative input | Reduces stress hormones; Improves mood/coping |
| Social Support | Talk to trusted others; Seek professional help | Provides perspective; Reduces isolation; Offers tools |
When to Seek Professional Help
While these self-help ideas can make a real difference, sometimes anticipatory anxiety digs its heels in. If it feels persistent, overwhelming, or is seriously getting in the way of your daily life, relationships, or work, it might be time to think about professional support. If worry is constantly buzzing in your head, causing a lot of distress, or making you avoid things, that’s a good sign to seek professional help.
A qualified therapist can help you to:
- Figure out the deeper roots of your anxiety.
- Develop coping strategies tailored just for you.
- Learn tools like CBT or mindfulness in a more structured way.
- See if there might be an underlying anxiety disorder that needs specific attention.
Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to tackle this stuff.
Moving Forward: Embracing the Present
Learning how to stop worrying about the future isn’t about flipping a switch; it’s more like learning a new skill – it takes practice. It involves noticing your patterns, questioning those unhelpful thoughts, and actively using techniques that pull you back to right here, right now.
While anticipation anxiety can feel really powerful sometimes, it doesn’t have to run the show. By trying out these strategies and getting support if you need it, you can gradually dial down the fear of the future and find more breathing room and enjoyment in your actual life, today.
Taking that first step might feel like the hardest part, but it’s the most crucial one. Be patient and kind to yourself as you figure out new ways to handle worry and navigate how to overcome fear of future.
You’ve got this. Be kind to yourself along the way.
Take Control of Your Worry Today
If you’re finding it hard to cope with anxiety about the future, please remember that professional support can make a real difference. Therapy Central offers confidential, evidence-based therapy online and in London, with flexible appointment times designed to fit around your life. Contact us for a free 15 min consultation to chat about how we might help you manage anxiety and live more fully in the present.
FAQ
Is anticipatory anxiety the same as generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)?
Good question! Not quite. While someone with GAD often deals with anticipatory anxiety 3, you can have anticipatory anxiety on its own, usually tied to specific upcoming events. GAD tends to involve excessive worry about lots of different things, often without one clear trigger, while anticipatory anxiety is more about that dread focused on future ‘what ifs’.
Can anticipatory anxiety cause physical symptoms?
Oh, absolutely. It’s really common to feel it physically – think racing heart, tense muscles, upset stomach, trouble sleeping, feeling worn out, or finding it hard to concentrate 1. Your body is basically reacting to a threat it thinks is coming.
How can I tell if my worry about the future is excessive?
Worry generally crosses into ‘excessive’ territory when it’s happening most days, feels really hard to control, causes you significant upset, and starts getting in the way of your daily life (work, study, relationships). If worry feels like it’s taking over and stopping you from enjoying the present, it might be excessive.
Does mindfulness really help stop worrying about the future?
Yes, it’s a genuinely effective tool for many people. By practising bringing your attention to the present moment – your breath, what you can see or hear, how your body feels – you interrupt that hamster wheel of future-focused worry 13. It helps you notice anxious thoughts without getting swept away. Like any skill, it gets easier with regular practice.
What's the first step I should take if I'm constantly worried?
A great starting point is acknowledging the worry kindly, without judging yourself for it (like we talked about with self-compassion). After that, maybe try one small, concrete technique – like taking a few deep breaths, or questioning one specific worry using those evidence-based questions. Don’t feel you have to fix everything at once; even small steps can be surprisingly powerful.
When should I consider therapy for worrying about the future?
If your worry feels out of control, is really affecting your mood, sleep, or ability to function day-to-day, or if it’s causing you to avoid important things, reaching out for professional help is a really positive step. Therapy offers a dedicated space to explore this and learn strategies that work specifically for you. Therapy Central can help with this exploration: Contact us today.
