If you observe your child eating food in a particular order, counting steps while walking or cleaning their room before bedtime, it’s pretty common. There’s no reason to worry as long as they remain calm when these behaviours are interrupted and don’t feel an intense urge to complete them. However, if these behaviours are an attempt to prevent bad things from happening, and the inability to perform their rituals triggers intense feelings of anxiety and fear, chances are your child might have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In that case, it’s important to consult with a healthcare professional if you suspect your child might have OCD.
When left untreated, this mental health issue can worsen and create difficulties in child’s life and your entire family, including potential side effects leading to issues at school, relationship struggles with friends, or even further psychological problems.
Luckily, there are many steps you can take to support your child’s treatment, starting with OCD Therapy, applying effective parenting techniques and learning how to help your child with OCD at home. Keep reading to find out more.
Symptoms of OCD in Children
OCD is a particular anxiety disorder that boils down to struggling with:
- obsessions: recurring, intrusive thoughts that cause significant distress
- compulsions: performing rituals or repeated behaviours caused by anxiety-inducing obsessions
The difficulty in coping with OCD lies in the fact that both components fuel each other, trapping your child in the vicious cycle of experiencing distressing thoughts or images that trigger their urge to perform rituals that provide temporary relief yet only strengthen obsessions in the long term. And, sooner or later, obsessions resurface, prompting compulsive behaviours all over again. Here are a few examples to clarify the relationship between obsessions and compulsions:
|
Obsession |
→ |
Compulsion |
|
Fear of contamination: “I will get germs.” |
→ |
-washing hands 30 times a day, -not allowing friends to touch you, -staying isolated at home |
|
Fear of dying in a fire: “I have to check if everything’s safe.” |
→ |
-checking if the stove is turned off 5 times before sleep |
|
Fear of something bad happening to your parents or family member: “They’ll die if I don’t prevent it.” |
→ |
-putting toys on a shelf in a specific order, -tapping the countertop of the bedside table every 10 minutes, -getting a goodnight kiss from a parent on a left cheek 3 times |
As a consequence, OCD can have various impacts on your child’s daily life. Here are some potential challenges:
- problems at school due to your child’s time-consuming compulsions,
- preoccupation with obsessions causes your child to have poor focus, low mood and no energy,
- difficult daily life at home because of uncontrollable meltdowns whenever their ritual is interrupted,
- siblings feeling resentful/frustrated toward their brother/sister for making them late to school again due to engaging their compulsion or affecting routines generally,
- potential social difficulties (e.g., getting bullied or excluded) if peers don’t understand or tolerate the rituals
- higher risk of struggling with other mental health issues, i.e.: disordered eating (when compulsions include food), loneliness, agoraphobia, low self-esteem, depression.
Every child is unique and not all children with OCD will go through these symptoms and challenges. In every case, seeking professional help is crucial.
How To Help Your Child with OCD: Effective Parenting Strategies
Disclaimer: The following tips are based on evidence and may be helpful for many families. However, every child and situation are unique. It’s crucial to collaborate closely with a child psychiatrist or OCD therapist who can help identify the signs of OCD while offering personalised advice and support tailored to your child’s specific needs.
Stop Enabling Their OCD
If your child is distressed, crying, or visibly nervous, it’s only natural to want to soothe them and help them feel better. Unfortunately, as a parent, you might inadvertently reinforce their OCD behaviours and symptoms by accommodating your child’s OCD through adjusting how you behave so that your kid can engage in their ritual or even helping them complete it. For example, accommodating rituals might look like:
- allowing your child to wash their hands for 20 minutes while the entire family’s waiting in the car, ready to leave,
- taking part in your child’s OCD bedtime rituals to speed up the process,
- opening the door for your child who refuses to touch doorknobs due to their fear of contamination,
- excessively reassuring your child that all is well after they ask you for the tenth time.
In the long run, enabling your child’s OCD is counterproductive as it reinforces their intrusive thoughts and validates their compulsive behaviours, further deepening their disorder.
However, stopping the enabling behaviours completely or telling your child to simply stop engaging in their compulsions can result in your child feeling more anxious, confused, and abandoned. It’s important to offer an alternative healthy solution and use coping techniques together, i.e.,
- personifying their OCD and naming it a silly name,
- visualising the OCD as a challenge to overcome together and treating it as a common enemy that needs to be fought back.
Seek Professional Help
Parenting is probably one of the most demanding jobs to ever exist. Being responsible for another human’s survival, safety, and physical and emotional well-being is incredibly challenging on its own. But parenting a child with OCD brings it to another level of difficulty, which you shouldn’t face alone. Although it’s natural to want to help your child navigate their OCD, it’s equally paramount to recognise when it’s time to seek external, professional help.
One of the best things you can do for your child with OCD is start professional treatment focusing on Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which directly addresses obsessive thoughts and is considered the gold standard of OCD Therapy [1].
It includes:
- Gradually exposing the child to anxiety-inducing objects/situations so that they get used to them and feel less stressed as time passes.
- Preventing them from responding compulsively shows they can handle the discomfort without engaging in their rituals.
Your engagement and active participation in your child’s OCD Therapy plays a huge role [2]. It allows you to understand the mechanisms of this mental health disorder, and help you avoid enabling any symptoms and guide other caregivers do so as well.
Communicate Openly
Living with OCD can be emotionally taxing for your child. Your child might be overwhelmed and exhausted due to their constant struggle with OCD symptoms. They also may feel embarrassed, self-conscious, and misunderstood due to their symptoms. If so, chances are they can shut down, avoid the topic, isolate themselves from friends or even not ask for help anymore.
It’s crucial that you:
- acknowledge their difficulty,
- remain patient and compassionate,
- create a safe space where they feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts and feelings and talk honestly.
Open communication will strengthen the bond you have with your child, while fostering trust and understanding.
Creating a Supportive Home Environment: 5 Tips On How To Parent a Child with OCD
Set Limits
Whether it’s OCD in your toddler, a 3-year-old or a teenager, one thing remains the same:
adding structure, following rules and setting boundaries can help them immensely in recovery. While enforcing these rules might initially feel challenging, remember that doing so will reduce your child’s anxiety long-term.
If you want to help your child with OCD hand-washing, there are many rules to enforce, i.e.:
- hand-washing is allowed for 1 minute max.,
- your child can do that no more than 10 times/day,
- restrict the use of multiple soaps,
- set boundaries about opening doors (e.g., you won’t open doors for them).
Communicate with empathy, compassion and understanding, i.e.:
- “You can’t do XXX. I know it’s tough, but remember, it’s because of your symptoms. This rule will help you learn how to deal with OCD.”
That may heighten your child’s anxiety in the moment, so it’s best to reduce their stress by:
- staying in that discomfort together and showing your support
- doing a soothing exercise, such as breathing techniques,
- providing comfort with hugs, hot tea, etc.
Stay Consistent
Consistency is key. Once the rules are set in motion, it’s crucial to maintain them. That means educating your entire family and any caregivers like grandparents or teachers at school to avoid inconsistencies that could create more anxiety. Keep in mind you’re addressing your child’s OCD and not punishing them.
As a result, your child might argue with you, refuse to talk or experience intense meltdowns. While heartbreaking at first, try your best to stay firm. You might feel frustrated or guilty for your child’s suffering, but remember it’s their OCD you’re trying to deal with. Not accommodating or enabling their compulsions is the right choice.
Confront Your Child’s Fears Together
In OCD Therapy, clients receive homework to do outside of sessions, prompting them to face their fears daily. Rather than excessively reassuring or avoiding triggering topics, help your child with OCD at home by:
- encouraging them to refrain from performing their ritual,
- using the coping skills learned during therapy in practice,
- inviting them to pick up garbage/wash the dishes/shake hands (if they fear contamination)
- creating a safe, non-judgmental space for your child to discuss their fears, recognise how irrational they are, and work together as a team on using alternative coping mechanisms, i.e., coming to you when they have an intrusion.
Give Positive Feedback
Recognising and celebrating your child’s efforts can push them to keep going.
It can be as simple as saying:
“You’re doing amazing. I see how hard you’re working to cope with your OCD; I’m very proud of you.”
You can also consider setting up a system of small rewards when your child successfully follows the rules of their treatment, i.e.:
- going to a cinema,
- getting their favourite meal,
- extra time to play their games, etc.
Reduce Stress
Obsessions and compulsions cause incredible amounts of anxiety already. Creating a home environment that isn’t filled with tension and conflict but with compassion and support toward your child can play a significant role in their recovery. Looking at potential sources of stress in your child’s life and figuring out how to mitigate them is another way to help your child with OCD, whether a teenager or a toddler.
For example:
If your daughter struggles with school responsibilities, you could ask their teachers to find a temporary solution.
If your son’s OCD worsens whenever you two get into an argument, maybe you can work on anger management and being more calm and patient as a parent.
Get Professional Help with Therapy Central
OCD is a complicated mental health issue to handle, even more so in childhood. It not only affects the well-being of your child but also impacts your entire family’s life. Fortunately, there’s effective treatment available. Thanks to OCD Therapy, your child can:
- learn healthy coping skills,
- reduce their anxiety,
- become more independent.
As a parent, the therapeutic process creates an opportunity to:
- understand your child’s symptoms,
- educate yourself on harmful behaviours, i.e. accommodating,
- learn how to help your child with OCD at home effectively,
- tackle this mental health issue with the help of an experienced professional from our team.
Don’t let OCD dictate how your child or family lives.
Instead, help your child break free from the vicious cycle of this disorder.
Contact us for a free 15-minute consultation to see if our services fit your unique needs.
FAQ
Enabling occurs when parents accommodate their child’s OCD by assisting with rituals or avoiding triggers, which reinforces compulsions. To stop enabling:
- Set boundaries, such as limiting handwashing or ritual time.
- Use coping strategies like naming OCD as a “challenge” to overcome together.
- Encourage alternative behaviors and communicate empathetically, e.g., “This is hard, but we’re doing this to help you deal with OCD.”
Obsessions are intrusive thoughts like fear of germs, harm, or bad events, while compulsions are repetitive actions like excessive handwashing or checking locks. For example:
- Obsession: “I might get sick from touching this.”
- → Compulsion: Avoiding touching doorknobs or washing hands excessively.
- Early signs in toddlers and even 3-year-olds can include repetitive behaviors tied to fears.
Supporting teens involves:
- Encouraging open communication to discuss fears and anxieties without judgment.
- Using skills learned in therapy, like practicing Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
- Providing positive reinforcement, such as praising their efforts to avoid compulsions and setting rewards for progress.
OCD in children can affect routines and family dynamics. To manage this:
- Educate everyone in the household about OCD to create consistency in handling symptoms.
- Avoid excessive reassurance or participating in rituals.
- Help your child with stress-reducing activities, like deep breathing or taking breaks from overwhelming tasks.
For younger children, focus on gentle structure and support:
- Set age-appropriate limits (e.g., time limits for washing hands).
- Use simple language to help them understand their OCD symptoms.
- Be patient and compassionate, as toddlers may struggle to articulate their feelings.
If OCD symptoms disrupt your child’s daily life or emotional well-being, consulting a healthcare professional or therapist is essential. Treatment options like ERP therapy, available through services like NHS or private therapy centers in the UK, help children:
- Gradually face their fears.
- Reduce compulsions and learn coping skills.
- Parent involvement is crucial for long-term success in tackling OCD.
Need Professional Help? Contact Therapy Central or consult your GP for guidance on therapy options like ERP, tailored to your child’s needs.
Get in touch with us today to start working on these issues.
