Stress Counselling in London & Online

What is Stress?

Stress is a set of psychological and physiological reactions to change. When you change your workplace, you might experience some stress before getting used to the new office. When you start living independently, you experience a lot of stress. Finally, drastic changes such as divorce, bereavement or sudden unemployment might stress you out extremely.

What are the different types of Stress?

Stress sometimes makes us stronger. Other times it seriously weakens us. This is why we differentiate between:

Eustress

This is the so-called “good stress”. Imagine that you have to give a speech in front of a large crowd. Understandably, you will be very tense and nervous about this event. If the tension is not too high, this feeling might actually help you deliver a good speech by increasing your overall arousal and energy. Of course, it can also go the other way around, which is:

Distress

This is the more commonly discussed type of stress. Most of the time, stress affects you negatively: it reduces the quality of your performance. It makes you experience unpleasant emotions, thoughts and physical sensations. This is the type we’ll discuss the most on this page.

What are the signs and symptoms of Stress?

What causes Stress?

There are numerous possible causes of stress:

• Marital/Couples issues
• Lifestyle change
• Relationship difficulties
• Financial difficulties
• Unexpected life changes
• Increased workloads

Physiologically speaking, stress is caused by high cortisol levels in your body, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands.

How is Stress Maintained?

If left unchecked, stress is likely to form a vicious circle. Imagine that you are having some relationship issues but are opting to avoid addressing the problem with your partner. By ignoring them, they’re likely to “stack up” and, in turn, cause more problems. For instance, you might try to inject new life into your marriage by booking an exotic holiday. Still, because your relationship issues were never addressed, the trip might quickly turn into a nightmare of arguments. This, in turn, creates more stress for you and risks further undermining your relationship.

Stress makes us feel uncomfortable, and it might be tempting to find easy yet counterproductive solutions, like self-medication and substance use (such as alcohol). Although in the short term, you might feel a sense of relief, stress and what’s causing it aren’t going to be solved. Even stress medications such as anxiolytics and sedatives may be helpful in the short term. Still, their benefits are often short-lived and come with side effects.

In other cases, we try to avoid facing stress simply by suppressing thoughts and feelings related to it. For example, you might try to avoid sensitive topics such as your most recent breakup or that missed promotion opportunity at work that disappointed you. Some people do the exact opposite, zooming in on stress and trying to solve all problems with brute force (e.g., forcing a reconciliation).

What’s the difference between Stress and Anxiety?

We sometimes use these terms as synonyms, although they are actually different. 

Anxiety is an emotion that is close to apprehension and worry and is usually manifested with fears turned toward the future. Anxiety’s worries are persistent, even in the absence of a particular trigger. As a set of emotional, psychological and physiological responses, anxiety can be experienced when you are stressed. Nonetheless, its origins tend to be internal; thus, unlike stress, anxiety can be triggered by non-threatening situations, and it continues even when the troublesome circumstances are no longer present.

Stress is, as mentioned, a group of psychological and physiological reactions to change (environmental, psychological, etc.), which may be very similar to what happens with anxiety. Nonetheless, the origins of stress are different, as they tend to be external. For example, facing a very tight deadline at work, moving home or a relationship breakup. 

While we are anxious about the future, we are usually stressed due to changes in our environment. Stress is more about difficulties adapting to a situation, while anxiety is about excessive and continuous apprehension and worries. 

Most importantly, stress is ubiquitous – we experience it daily – while Anxiety Disorders, such as Panic Disorder or Social Anxiety,are somewhat less common and more severe. 

How do I get help if I think I am stressed?

First and foremost, you’d want to address the stressors. For instance, if you sleep very little and this makes you feel frustrated, tense, and nervous, the logical solution would be to take steps to get more sleep. Nowadays, we do many things that impede our sleep, such as using technology while in bed, binge-watching TV shows, etc. Removing these is likely to improve the quality of our sleep and make us less stressed.

Sometimes, you simply cannot tackle the stressors. This is when you might have to adapt and find alternative ways to overcome the pressure, which is most effectively done with the help of a mental health expert.

When should I seek therapy for Stress?

You should seek counselling for stress as soon as you realise that you are feeling intense tension and that the problem won’t go away on its own. This is especially the case with chronic stressors that tend to produce numerous relatively stressful situations, which add to form sometimes insurmountable amounts of pressure. 

Some people, for example, get very stressed out due to traffic jams and the daily commute. Although finding a new job closer to you might solve the issue, it’s not always possible nor necessary to go to such lengths. Usually, it would be much better to find someone to talk to, express your emotions, and learn strategies to manage your stress reaction. 

The rule of the thumb is: don’t allow stress to accumulate. If you notice that stress has started affecting how you function (i.e., professionally, socially), it’s time to ask for help.

Does Therapy Help with Stress?

According to the NHS [1], counselling for stress is indeed effective and should be the primary tool in stopping the accumulation of stressful experiences. There is abundant evidence showing that psychological support can help manage stress and reduce overall stress levels.

How is Stress Treated?

There are many ways to treat stress – a CBT approach is the most researched method to improve stress management, resilience, and self-efficacy [2]. 

CBT for stress management relies on a relatively structured approach consisting of:

• Psychoeducation (learning about what causes stress)
• Learning how to identify negative, unhelpful thoughts and how they affect you
• Relaxation exercises (mindful breathing; progressive muscle relaxation)
• Learning that our interpretations of events produce our emotional responses, not events themselves
• Learning cognitive and behavioural strategies to break the cycle of stress

Anger management therapy and assertiveness training can become essential components of stress management. Frequently, the stress levels go up because we don’t know how to manage our anger or assert ourselves.

A related and effective way to treat stress is via Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This school of thought is associated with CBT. However, ACT relies more on concepts like mindfulness and working with unpleasant thoughts instead of attempting to eliminate them altogether. ACT is about helping you live a life more aligned with your values and thus more fulfilling overall. 

Whereas CBT focuses mainly on controlling stressors, negative thoughts and behavioural change, ACT is more about adopting a different viewpoint and learning to accept and work with the inevitability of stress while improving your quality of life. For instance, classical CBT for stress focuses on rational and logical disproving of negative thoughts related to stressful reactions. On the other hand, ACT employs other tools like metaphors, such as the famous “Don’t think about a white elephant” metaphor, helping us learn that we often aren’t in control of our thoughts and that this is not a catastrophe. 

Nowadays, therapists are very often integrating techniques coming from various theoretical viewpoints. Our therapists will draw on various techniques tailored around your unique circumstances.

What are the benefits of therapy for Stress?

Stress treatment will help you improve your well-being in numerous ways:

• Feeling less tense
• Greater emotional stability
• Sharper focus and better performances
• Better sleep
• Reduced irritability
• Improved relationships
• Greater sense of agency over your life

Counselling for stress can help you feel less “keyed up”, on “edge”, or on the verge of collapse. It will also provide a different perspective, helping you realise that it’s how you think about and handle stress and stressors that ultimately determine your emotional reactions. 

By committing to stress therapy, you are at the same time committing to stop the vicious circle of stress. Instead of avoiding stress and resorting to suppressing all thoughts related to stress, you’ll learn how to address it in more meaningful and helpful ways. You’ll also learn how to recognise the good side of stress (eustress) – finding a new home, for instance, can be very stressful but exciting and life-giving at the same time!

How long does Counselling for Stress last?

The length of treatment varies depending on the severity of stress symptoms. According to the NHS, CBT treatment generally lasts for around 12 sessions. However, you can already see some improvements after 6 or even 4 sessions.

Sometimes, the problems are more severe, and that’s when stress counselling can unfold over more extended periods of time.

Does online therapy work for stress?

Online stress therapy can be a very convenient way to treat stress, and, most importantly, research has shown that even relatively short online stress interventions have the potential to reduce the intensity of symptoms [3]. More specifically, three CBT or ACT sessions delivered over two weeks decreased stress levels by up to 42%! 

Tips to get you started managing Stress

There are many things you can do to start feeling better even before you find a stress counsellor:

• Regular exercise (especially effective against stress-related insomnia)
• Healthy diet
• Rest and have fun (having a hobby, quality social time)
• Removing stressors (if this is possible and viable – sometimes you simply cannot remove stressors)
• Talk about how you feel with a trusted person
• Take time to pause and observe your internal reactions (e.g., with mindfulness or yoga)

These will especially be effective against mild symptoms of stress. However, if you are experiencing chronic tension, frustration, and nervousness, it would be advisable to seek help from a mental health professional.